By Yuri Elkaim
We all know that toxins lead to many health problems. But toxins aren’t just limited to food additives or environmental pollutants. People can be toxic as well. I’ll illustrate this by telling you something that is deeply personal to me. It’s something I feel very strongly about.
This past weekend, my dad dropped in (he lives 5 hours away) unannounced and stayed out our house. Over the few past weeks, we had spoken about him coming into town for a weekend to hang out with the kids.
However, nothing was firmed up which meant that Amy, myself, and the kids had planned stuff to do.But nonetheless, he decided to show up with nothing more than a day’s notice.He didn’t ask. He didn’t even tell us how he long was staying for.
At first, I thought it was just for the weekend. Then he tells me he was returning to Montreal (where lives) on Tuesday (today).
5 days!
Are you kidding me?
During this stay, there was black cloud of toxic energy in our house. And everyone felt it.
My dad and I have always had a strained relationship because he’s not the type of human I even want to associate it. Sadly, we don’t choose our parents.
And these past few days confirmed that. Playing the victim and feeling that everyone owes him something (as he always does) he didn’t lift a finger during his stay. He never said thank you for the breakfasts and lunches we made him or the dinners we paid for when we went out.
He played games with the kids which was nice but he quickly delegated his role to the iPad - which the kids got hooked on like a drug. On Sunday, I told him that I was invited to go to the Toronto FC soccer game that evening (again, I had plans) and it’d be great if he could look after the kids for a few hours.
He did.
When we returned home from the game, he was exhausted. It was as if he had never parented in his life, which is actually pretty accurate (since my parents divorced when I was young).
That night I told him my schedule for the next few days.I mentioned that I had meetings and calls most of Monday and into Tuesday.
He didn’t get it.
You see, he hasn’t worked for 20 years and has been mooching off his partner for that length of time all the while criticising her for not living up to his standards. Wow!
He has never understood that the world doesn’t revolve around him and when I told him that I had actually had stuff to do, he got pissed off.
So we mutually decided that it was time for him to head back home - ahead of schedule. I drove him to the subway a few minutes later.
But that 4 minute drive was so toxic and abusive that even I was shocked.
He said things that no father should ever say to their son. Things that no human should say to another. Berating my wife and kids and me as a father. Unacceptable. I realized in that moment that I will never again subject myself (or my family) to that type of abuse.
He and I are done.
I refuse to surround myself with toxic people like that - even if it’s my father. When I got back home, Amy and I saged the house to clear our beautiful, loving home environment from his toxic energy. We instantly felt better - like the sun shining through after a violent thunderstorm.
Life is too short and amazing to be dragged down by other people. That’s why it’s always been hard for me to have a “normal” relationship with my dad. He’s really just a little child in a grown man’s body and has never grown up.
He holds grudges against everyone who’s screwed him over and never takes responsibility for anything in his own life.He epitomizes the mindset of a loser...of a victim...of a taker (not a giver). I refuse to spend any amount of time with that type of nonsense.
And I encourage you to do the same. I have no doubt that there are toxic people in your life too. And just like we need to cleanse our body of toxic buildup from years of living in the modern world…
We also need to purge our life of toxic people. If you don’t, they will drag you down into their darkness. They will dim your light. They will hold you back from your dreams. You are an amazing person. And the work you’re doing really matters.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
It’s them, not you.
PS. One of the reasons I started our Healthpreneur Podcast was because I love spending time with inspiring leaders and entrepreneurs and bringing our uplifting conversations to you.
If you want to benefit from these conversations so you can nourish your mind with positive, uplifting, and actionable messages, then I encourage you to check it and subscribe today.
Yuri Elkaim
We all know that toxins lead to many health problems. But toxins aren’t just limited to food additives or environmental pollutants. People can be toxic as well. I’ll illustrate this by telling you something that is deeply personal to me. It’s something I feel very strongly about.
This past weekend, my dad dropped in (he lives 5 hours away) unannounced and stayed out our house. Over the few past weeks, we had spoken about him coming into town for a weekend to hang out with the kids.
However, nothing was firmed up which meant that Amy, myself, and the kids had planned stuff to do.But nonetheless, he decided to show up with nothing more than a day’s notice.He didn’t ask. He didn’t even tell us how he long was staying for.
At first, I thought it was just for the weekend. Then he tells me he was returning to Montreal (where lives) on Tuesday (today).
5 days!
Are you kidding me?
During this stay, there was black cloud of toxic energy in our house. And everyone felt it.
My dad and I have always had a strained relationship because he’s not the type of human I even want to associate it. Sadly, we don’t choose our parents.
And these past few days confirmed that. Playing the victim and feeling that everyone owes him something (as he always does) he didn’t lift a finger during his stay. He never said thank you for the breakfasts and lunches we made him or the dinners we paid for when we went out.
He played games with the kids which was nice but he quickly delegated his role to the iPad - which the kids got hooked on like a drug. On Sunday, I told him that I was invited to go to the Toronto FC soccer game that evening (again, I had plans) and it’d be great if he could look after the kids for a few hours.
He did.
When we returned home from the game, he was exhausted. It was as if he had never parented in his life, which is actually pretty accurate (since my parents divorced when I was young).
That night I told him my schedule for the next few days.I mentioned that I had meetings and calls most of Monday and into Tuesday.
He didn’t get it.
You see, he hasn’t worked for 20 years and has been mooching off his partner for that length of time all the while criticising her for not living up to his standards. Wow!
He has never understood that the world doesn’t revolve around him and when I told him that I had actually had stuff to do, he got pissed off.
So we mutually decided that it was time for him to head back home - ahead of schedule. I drove him to the subway a few minutes later.
But that 4 minute drive was so toxic and abusive that even I was shocked.
He said things that no father should ever say to their son. Things that no human should say to another. Berating my wife and kids and me as a father. Unacceptable. I realized in that moment that I will never again subject myself (or my family) to that type of abuse.
He and I are done.
I refuse to surround myself with toxic people like that - even if it’s my father. When I got back home, Amy and I saged the house to clear our beautiful, loving home environment from his toxic energy. We instantly felt better - like the sun shining through after a violent thunderstorm.
Life is too short and amazing to be dragged down by other people. That’s why it’s always been hard for me to have a “normal” relationship with my dad. He’s really just a little child in a grown man’s body and has never grown up.
He holds grudges against everyone who’s screwed him over and never takes responsibility for anything in his own life.He epitomizes the mindset of a loser...of a victim...of a taker (not a giver). I refuse to spend any amount of time with that type of nonsense.
And I encourage you to do the same. I have no doubt that there are toxic people in your life too. And just like we need to cleanse our body of toxic buildup from years of living in the modern world…
We also need to purge our life of toxic people. If you don’t, they will drag you down into their darkness. They will dim your light. They will hold you back from your dreams. You are an amazing person. And the work you’re doing really matters.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
It’s them, not you.
PS. One of the reasons I started our Healthpreneur Podcast was because I love spending time with inspiring leaders and entrepreneurs and bringing our uplifting conversations to you.
If you want to benefit from these conversations so you can nourish your mind with positive, uplifting, and actionable messages, then I encourage you to check it and subscribe today.
Yuri Elkaim
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